Oh Boy

Here are some  Benjamin Franklin quotes I recently stumbled upon:

~Creditors have better memories than debtors.

~Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.
~I guess I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old.
~She laughs at everything you say. Why? Because she has fine teeth.

And some amusing ideas for answering machine messages:

~ "Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished."

~Hello, I'm not here right now. In fact, I'm out getting a new parakeet. If you leave a message after the beep, I'll be sure to get back to you. Oh, and by the way, a word of advice; never try to clean a parakeet cage with a vacuum cleaner.

~You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You see a signpost up ahead -- this is no ordinary telephone answering device... You have reached, "The Twilight Phone".